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That was the easy bit. The guilt was there, although whether it was really guilty feelings or just the desire for my love to be back I wasn't truly certain, but I did know that my heart still belonged to Jane, even if my mind had let her go.The third question was the real dilemma, and it took a long time to work it out. Physically I definitely wanted more of Teresa, mentally, too, as I enjoyed our talks almost as much as our lovemaking. Emotionally, I was scared of not being able to love her, and also selfishly, of being hurt again if I did. In the end, I could not find a convincing enough reason why I shouldn't continue to see her.I checked my bedside clock and was amazed to see that it was 6:30; I'd been pondering for over an hour. I knew that we needed to be up earlier than normal, as I didn't want my new lover going to work dressed as she'd arrived at my house. She would therefore need to go home before heading off to work. I reckoned that to be at work by nine we should be up by. The lights are off, but the room is lit by candles, lots of them. I've gathered together every candle I have, and lit them all at the same time. The air is filled with their warmth and with the smell of incense. You can't identify it, but it's earthy; it makes you think of green things growing and of warm spring rain. Van Morrison is playing on the stereo, singing about magic and romance and dancing beneath an October moon.With my hands on your shoulders, I reach up to kiss you, and before you can embrace me, I slide my hands down your arms and grasp your wrists, and gently, but firmly, bring them around to your back. Before you have any idea what is happening, you hear a sound, a click you can identify immediately. You have been cuffed. You ask me what's going on, and in response, in one swift motion, I unbuckle your belt, unzip the fly, and lower your trousers to your ankles. I push you, lightly, but you're quite taken aback, and it doesn't take much to make you stumble. You fall.
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